a weekend of treats...

(author's note: this entry is full of hyperlinks to photos that I believe are a helpful addition to my text, they are taken from google images but they are pretty much identical to the snapshots that i took)

Happy Halloween!

I never thought I cared much about this holiday until now, when there really isn't any way to celebrate it. All I've wanted for the past few days is some of those tiny pumpkin candies, they are like candy corn- equally bad for you- but I love them so much! I'm sure they will be heavily discounted starting tomorrow, so if anyone had the heart to send me a package...

Instead of Halloween, there is All Saint's Day (which is actually tomorrow). I know that it exists in the U.S., but it's different here. People have parties and eat traditional yummy treats. The older generation also goes to the cemeteries and cleans the crypts of their family members. Usually there is a lot of celebration, but it won't be the same this year because the holiday is on a Sunday, which is the day of lets-not-do-anything-and-just-enjoy-regular-quiet-life day here in Spain.

Nevertheless, I did find panellets in the supermarket yesterday and was pleasantly surprised at their quality. They are these little round pastry balls of wonder. The traditional ones are sticky balls of dough covered with roasted and sugary pine nuts (they are the ones in the first and last column in the pic). I've seen all the different kinds in the pastry shops here, but they were way too expensive. But of course I bought the smallest package at the supermarket, a dozen, and ate them all last night. I just couldn't stop! Castañas (roasted chestnuts) and boniatos (sweet potato) are also popular for this holiday. I haven't had a chance yet to try these, but I do know of a street vendor that is selling them both not too far from where I live. You can't really get the sweet potato in the supermarket because you want it to be all prepared and hot and ready for munching...

Today I went to the Museum of Chocolate and I was absolutely astounded. The history of chocolate wasn't all that interesting, but they had a lot of 3D sculptures that were made entirely out of chocolate. I've seen things like that on tv but in person they are absolutely breathtaking. For example, there was a chocolate sculpture of Arc de Triomf, a famous arch near one of my favorite parks in Barcelona. There were little kids running around making a lot of noise and hitting into things. They do birthday parties at the museum as there is a large kitchen attached to the building where for a hefty price you can pay for a lesson in how to make your own 3D chocolate creations. The pastry school is also attached to the museum, where competitions for 3D chocolate designs are held. What I can't figure out is how the chocolate doesn't melt at some point! I got a free chocolate bar with my ticket and ended up buying one truffle before I left. It was gingerbread, so I could justify the purchase as a new experience.

I also had to go to the supermarket today for bread and milk (how cliché) and was captivated by the many flavors of a traditional Christmas dessert called turrón. I had to buy the white chocolate one with puffed rice (like a crunch bar). The wikipedia entry for turrón isn't that helpful, but at least it gave me an idea of what I had purchased. I ate a portion of the bar after lunch today and was in a wonderful mood for a few hours afterwards. It was just so creamy and tasty! I'm curious to see what the consistency is across the different flavors. There is a fruit version that I think I should try next. I can't figure out how both kinds can be sold under the same name, but maybe when I taste it it will make sense.

So yes, Christmas desserts are now available in the stores. Christmas lights have also started appearing on certain streets and buildings in the city. I am excited to see how the city transforms for the holiday. My intercambio partner told me that the lights and displays on Las Ramblas are absolutely captivating. Right now my plan is to be in Rome for Christmas, but I figure I will be in Barcelona for a little more than half of December so I will be able to see a lot of the preparation. Apparently there are a lot of Christmas themed markets so I know I will enjoy that! I'm not a big holiday person, but learning about how the holidays are celebrated and conceptualized in other parts of the world appeals to me greatly. I haven't finalized my travel plans for after the program ends (I am free from December 18th until my flight back to Boston on January 15th.) As it stands now, I will be in Paris, Rome, Madrid and London- in that order. Flights are still reasonably cheap (averages out to about $90 per flight) and there seems to be space in various hostels. However, I am anxious to have a plan in place.

I've been steadily accomplishing many of the things on my Things to Do in Barcelona list. Yesterday I went with a few girls from my program to two of the houses that Gaudí designed. Palau Güell was under construction so we didn't get to see that much- but entrance was free. I was upset that we couldn't see the upstairs or the roof. I've seen pictures of the detail on the roof and was looking forward to seeing them up close. However, it was interesting to see that even in the basement where the servants lived there was impressive and detailed architecture to behold. It boggles my mind that a building like that can be on the same street as a run down pizzeria and flea bag motel...

La Pedera made up for the lack of things to see at Palau Güell. The roof looked like a desert with majestic sand sculptures and rolling hills. Inside, there was a museum of models of all of Gaudí's major designs. I was surprised to learn that he also designed some furniture! We joked that this chair would be perfect for married couples because you could sit next to each and not have to look your partner in the eye. Finally, we toured the apartment that Gaudí lived in. I'm not sure how much was preserved and how much was a recreation of what things probably looked like, but I loved seeing all of the old fashioned decor. It is unfathomable how Gaudí saw the world, how we was able to manipulate it to fulfill his vision. There is one more of his houses that I would like to see, but the line is always all the way around the corner and it's pretty expensive. It's probably worth a separate trip all by itself.

Tomorrow I will probably end up at one museum or another because on the first Sunday of the month nearly all of the museums have free admission. Part of me thinks I should go back to the museum that I went to with my history class because it will probably help me study for the midterm that's on Thursday, but part of me wants to go to the Catalunya art museum because it is one of the most expensive museums. I will probably decide where I'm going based on what other people are doing. I think there are groups going to each. All I know is that I have to get out of the house at some point tomorrow because my brain is hurting from studying. Except for the supermarket and my excursion to the chocolate museum, which was only about two hours total, I was inside all day taking care of business- studying, cleaning and doing laundry. Again, I need to find a balance between schoolwork and experiencing life in Barcelona. It angers me how much better things would be if I didn't have to worry about tests. Instead, I have to play this juggling game.

Speaking of which, I should get back to studying. Promised myself I would do one chapter of history tonight. I also have to eat and read more of the story that an old writing friend sent me. I'm hoping that his novel will inspire me to keep writing here.

nikki

una cosa pequeña, sin embargo...

I had to go food shopping after class this morning. I pretty much have to go every three days or so because my fridge cubby is very small and just can't hold more than a few days' worth of food. It's hard to get used to since for the previous four months in Boston I had a full fridge and freezer just for my food. Obviously I didn't need all of that space, but it was nice to have it.

The first section in the supermarket is produce, like right when you walk down the stairs the crates of apples and pears and plums stare you in the face. They have a little scale where you weigh your selection and then press a button that corresponds to which fruit or vegetable you have selected. A label prints out with the price and the barcode that the cashier needs to scan. It saves time at the checkout, but of course relies on customers selecting the correct corresponding fruit or vegetable to what they have actually chosen to buy.

The names of the fruits and vegetables are listed in Spanish as well as Catalan, so I've never had a problem. (Also, there are pictures. Some of the pictures aren't clear, but they do exist so even an illiterate person could have a good chance at selecting the correct button.)

There was a worker standing next to the scale handing out free samples of some kind of tangerine. I can't stand anything that resembles an orange so I was ready to politely turn her offer down when it was my turn to weight my items, but instead of offering me a sample she snatched the bag of plums out of my hand and pressed the button for me. I tried to turn a little away from her so I could put the bag of apples on the scale myself, but she still reached over and pressed the button for me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just push her hand away. So I rolled my eyes as she pushed the button for my pears. I put the fruit in my basket and started to walk away when I heard her ask the next person in line if he would like to try the fruit. I turned around and watched as she casually smiled and the man weighed and selected the buttons by himself. I watched as three more people received the same offer and did the same thing.

Why was I not offered a sample? Why did she press the buttons for me? Why did she look down on me as a nuisance, no trace of the smile she gave all of the other customers?

You can say that I am looking too much into this, but I really think she judged me on my appearance and assumed that I could not complete the task by myself and that I wouldn't understand if she offered the sample. I know that is an assumption on my part, but that's what it felt like. I felt like someone made a judgment on my abilities based on my appearance. I was absolutely shocked. Logically it makes sense that it happened, I do look like a foreigner and I can understand how someone in the store for the first time might be a little slow to catch on to the scale, but it still hurts that I was denied the same treatment as everyone else.

Do you think I am overreacting? How would you feel in the same situation? I'm pretty sure that anyone can leave comments now, so I want to know what you think!

nikki

Penedés y Montserrat

Yesterday I climbed to the top of a mountain. That's all you really need to know.

First we went to Penedés and got a tour of a winery. I felt bad for the tour guy because no one was really listening. He was speaking in Spanish about a rather complicated process that no one really cared about. Obviously because it was a Saturday morning a bunch of the kids from my program were tired and/or hungover and thus had even less incentive to pay attention. We went down several flights of stairs into the cellar and saw where they keep millions and millions of bottles of wine. I really can't explain what it looked like. Try to imagine an enormous room with concrete walls, ceiling and floor. When I say enormous, I mean enormous. I could not see where the room ended. We got on a little tram and flew by millions and millions of bottles in different caves that were named for where the bottles were going, places as far away as Tokyo and as close as Barcelona. The wine has to be in the cellar for a minimum of nine months before they will sell it, but usually they are down there for years and years and years. So most of the bottles were covered in thick dust (hence the picture above) and some were barely recognizable. It would be so easy to get lost down there forever. I found it interesting in how complicated the process is just to make a drink. It is difficult for me to understand the significance of wine, why it is so important and why people would dedicate their lives to its production.

At the end everyone was allowed to have two glasses of cava (champagne), one was white and one was pink (rose?). I didn't partake. I don't drink alcohol under any circumstances. I'll admit I was tempted to just have a taste, that maybe if I knew what it was like I would somehow understand its significance. But I knew I couldn't do it. I am committed to my decision and nothing is worth breaking that. It was awkward to be the only one without a glass in my hand when we took the group picture, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. People didn't seem that impressed with it anyway. It annoys me a bit because CIEE has been complaining that they are in financial crisis and yet they paid for 35 students to drink alcohol...

I'm not sure how CIEE thought two glasses of champagne would be a great lead into going to a mountain. The schedule gave us 2 1/2 hours at Montserrat, which in addition to a breathtaking mountain also has two museums and a monastery. We were able to stay longer if we wanted to, but we had to sign up before hand and were responsible for our own transportation back to Barcelona. I figured that a lot of people would take advantage of the opportunity to explore this fantastic place, but it turned out that only 7 of us stayed. We decided to do the most strenuous hike all the way up the mountain to the highest point. It took us about three hours in total with some short photo ops and a nice break at the top. As Becky kept saying, the top is only half way! So once we gather our thoughts and appreciated our accomplishment we had to trek all the way back down. Most of the way down was a series of very narrow and steep steps. I have misaligned knee caps so going down hills and stairs at such an angle is very hard on them. I am still in a little bit of pain in my knees, and my calves aren't happy with me either, but it was definitely worth it. I am so happy that I did it. I feel proud that I took advantage of the opportunity and did all that I could to appreciate where I was. No regrets.

Today I went to the Picasso Museum, it's only a 15 minute walk from the residencia. It was 6 euros for students so I could definitely justify it. I spent about two hours ogling paintings, engravings, sketches and pottery made by Picasso. How many people can say that they have made enough art to fill an entire museum (18 rooms)? I had no idea that starting when he was 15 he was winning prizes for his art and completing masterpieces. I didn't know that he painted other things besides crazy cubism figures and blue hued portraits. It was an amazing experience to see the evolution of his work from when he was a child until his death.

What will stick with me the most is that they said his blue period was inspired by literature he was exposed to in which sincerity was inseparable from pain and art sprang from sadness and suffering. He was very interested in the world of outcasts and the combination of blue and green hues was seen as akin to the loneliness of the sea. As a writer, I can relate to the art = pain point of view. Seeing the myriad of subjects, styles and mediums he worked with really inspired me to keep writing, that it is possible to use my talent in ways I've never imagined before. He also never shied away from uncomfortable or shocking topics, depicting prostitutes and death in several series of paintings and etchings. I was also fascinated by the series of paintings he did from the point of view of someone outside looking into a window, as if the painter was spying on his subjects and capturing a scene he was not meant to see. I feel like artists of any kind often think that they are uncovering things with their work that deserve to be seen but aren't always put out in the open willingly.

The rest of the day I spent reading from books I took out of the library for my communications and history classes. I am trying to get a general sense of journalism (is that possible?) in order to understand the more advanced topics and I want to gather as much background info about the history of Barcelona as I can to try to decode the wordy and long lectures. As far as this weekend goes, I think I did a great job of balancing schoolwork and enjoying being in the city/in Spain. I'm fairly confident that I can do that again this weekend (three days!) even with having to study for midterms for the first week of November.

I can't believe it's the end of October. I wore shorts today! Also, we fell out of daylights savings time. I had no idea it was happening, so when I woke up this morning I thought something was wrong with my computer. But sure enough, the time change was confirmed when I turned on the tv (of course that's the ultimate source of truth). So maybe the shift in daylight will help with my conception of it really being Fall.

nikki

historia y aprendizaje

My Barcelona history class went to the Museum of History of Catalunya today. I was not in the best of moods upon arrival, as today was one of the very few days of awful weather here. Today's high was only in the 50s and right when I had to leave the apartment it started monsoon-ing: crazy winds and wicked downpour. My umbrella broke and my jeans were soaked up past my knees. This was just from walking to the metro stop about 5 minutes away. (If you know anything about me, you'll realize how bad the weather was by the fact that I decided to take the metro when it was only two stops.)

I did not have high hopes for this museum. Usually I'm very overwhelmed in museums as there is far too much to look at and read than one can really dedicate their attention to. Even when I've been on guided tours (which doesn't happen often because I'm too cheap to pay for them) I don't feel like I'm experiencing anything more than what a few wikipedia searches would yield me.

It took forever for all of us to assemble at the museum. Everyone was complaining about the rain like they'd never gotten wet outside before. People, including me, have just gotten used to the great weather here that it's a shock when it is a less than pleasant experience to be outside.

We were split into two groups, one would get the tour in Spanish and the other in English. We were allowed to choose which group we wanted and I immediately ran to the Spanish group. There were a few more kids who wanted the tour in Spanish than wanted the tour in English and some people had to volunteer to switch. I sort of hid behind this very tall guy in order to escape the possibility of being asked to switch. I am in Spain. I am taking my classes in Spanish. Why the hell would I take the tour in English? I feel as though I need to take advantage of every opportunity I have to be exposed to the language. There was no doubt in my mind which tour I was going to take. I think it's ridiculous that people were given the option to take the tour in English. I really think it shows who is here to learn and who is here to just get by. Sure, I want to have fun here and travel and enjoy a level of freedom that I won't have when I get back to the states (and have to enter the job market!) but I can have fun and such in the U.S. I can hear, speak, read and write English wherever I go in the U.S. But only in Spain can I have someone from Catalunya show and tell me things about the history of Catalunya. I can't learn this information in the U.S. Listening to the information in Spanish made it a double accomplishment. I understood about 90% of what the guide was saying and he wasn't speaking as slow as the teachers do here.

I feel like I learned more in the hour of the tour than I have in the three weeks of my history class thus far. His short examples and the physical props in the museum made a lot of the information in my head fall into place. I started making connections between time periods and forming links between faces, names, dates, and actions of importance. I need to go back to the museum and read everything. I want to spend hours there taking notes and gathering as much information as I can. I want to be truly informed about where I am living. Barcelona was founded around 10 A.D. That's 2000 years of history this city has to offer. I can stand in Plaza Sant Jaume (where the castellers assembled during La Merce) and know that at that very spot 2000 years ago people made the center of their city. The Greeks and Romans and Germanic tribes somehow become real entities when you are surrounded by physical evidence of their existence and actions. These ancient people are no longer abstractions in my head. They were real people that lived in real places. Europe is no longer a mere section of a map for me. I have only been in Spain thus far, but that has been enough to open my eyes to the reality of this part of the world, the richness of the history and the longevity of identity.

I keep having to remind myself that while my Spanish is VERY far from perfect, I do have skills in the language. Everyone can't understand spoken Spanish, no matter how slow the person speaks or how much they enunciate. Every time something is communicated successfully to me or I communicate something successfully to someone else in Spanish it is an accomplishment. As frustrating as it can be, I need to welcome more Spanish into my life here and only use English when necessary- for example writing this blog. I wish that someone from Boston or NY that I am close to could at least read Spanish. After a block of classes, my head is swimming with thoughts in Spanish (no matter how grammatically incorrect) and I hate when they disappear because I start doing something in English.

I have stopped using subtitles when I watch t.v. here and I am doing some research on live theatre that I can get cheap tickets to. I saw a Spanish movie called Gordos (translation: fat people) last night with a small group of kids from CIEE. It was very difficult to understand because it was a dialogue driven movie, no bad ass action sequences or intense murderous rampages that can be understood by speakers of any language. However, I was able to stick with it for two hours and could follow the general plot line. Sure, it was annoying when the rest of the audience laughed and I didn't know what they were responding to, but ultimately it was an uplifting experience. When I first got here, I thought there was no way that I could watch an entire movie in Spanish without any subtitles and not go insane with boredom or frustration. But now I see movies and television (and soon theatre) as entertaining learning exercises. Even if I only understand 10% of what is going on, that's 10% more practice listening than I had before. I only benefit from the experience. This is so much different than the listening I do in my classes, in which misunderstandings can have negative consequences. Without that pressure to interpret correctly I am actually able to process more information because I am not afraid to make mistakes. I am more apt to guess at a meaning than ignore it altogether- and that is an approach that I feel yields better results.

My classes are progressing well. I am trying to accept that I am always going to be the girl that asks a ton of questions. I am pushing myself to speak up when a topic is unclear-whether it's because of a language difficulty or because it's a concept that I'm not familiar with. It is difficult to have those two types of confusion. In my communications class we are going over things that are pretty basic, but it's all new information to me. I asked a lot of questions in the last class because of the material. I understood the words (i.e. the Spanish) perfectly, but wasn't clear on the relationship between a few key points in the lecture. At one point when I was struggling to ask my question in Spanish the professor told me to just ask it in English. I refused to do so. It took an extra 20 seconds or so, but I was able to find a way to express my doubt in Spanish in a way that the professor could understand and then address my concern. I actually had brought up an important concept that he had forgotten to mention. Could I have gotten to the point faster if I had used English? Of course, but that wouldn't have helped me in the long run- and I'm the one that matters here.

I am very hopeful that the excursion to Penedés and Montserrat on Saturday will be just what I need to re-energize and focus me on the positive aspects of this experience. The first thing out of the guide's mouth at the museum today was that we had to find the time to see Montserrat. I cannot wait to be overwhelmed by the magnificent views and peaceful atmosphere.

Oh, in case you were worried, it's supposed to be in the 70s and sunny for at least another week, starting tomorrow :)

nikki

minuses... and pluses!

Back to school today after a three day weekend. I should've known it would be a little rough. I'll start out with the minuses so I can end with the pluses and keep my mind focused on the good things.

I went to campus early this morning so I could go to the library and check out some books from the recommended but not required reading lists for my classes. I know what you are thinking, yes I am a nerd- but it's a little different here since there is little to no required reading. I feel like I need to at least skim some of the noted sources for further information in order to have a general understanding of these foreign (in geography and often in subject matter) topics.

Three out of the four books I wanted are only available in one of the other campuses of the university. I can get there by metro, but I didn't have time to go this morning before class. The fourth book was- wait for it... wait for it...

ONLY AVAILABLE IN CATALAN!

Okay, I know you are all sick of me complaining about Catalan. Slowly I am realizing how important the language is to the culture here, and I can accept that it has a place in society and such- but I'd like to see someone explain how I'm not entitled to a little anger at the fact that a book recommended by a professor is only available in a language I don't understand. I asked the professor about it and he said he wasn't aware of the language issue. If I could've phrased it politely (which is hard to do in English when you're ticked off... much less in a foreign language of which you haven't really grasped the concept of tone and inflection) I would have suggested that he take the book off the recommended reading list for his future classes of non-Spanish students.

Second minus- since I was on campus early, I had to grab some food before my first class at 1. I brought an apple and a sandwich because a.) it's healthier and b.) I can convince myself that I'm saving money that way. I wasn't going to buy anything, but I realized that I needed some coins in order to purchase a card to copy and scan documents on one of the machines. The copiers/scanners all in one machines are located at various points in the hallways on campus. Next to one of them is a little box, you put in money and it gives you a card. Somehow you use this card to copy and scan. However, you can only put money on the card in increments of 2 euros and the box only accepts coins. I thought the easiest way to rectify this situation would be to buy something in the cafeteria with my 5 euro bill and use the change to buy the card. All I wanted was a Fanta límon, which tastes like half lemonade and half sprite. Before coming here I hadn't drank soda or juice for a very long time, but for some reason I love this drink. I don't have it that often (I'm pretty much only drinking tap water here- not sure that's such a good practice) but when I'm in the mood I have no qualms about quenching that thirst. There are fridges in the back of the cafeteria that have all types of sodas and juices in them for all the world to see. (They are like the ones you see in 7-eleven type stores, but free standing.) I walked back there, grabbed the soda and went to the cash register to pay. There are two cash registers, one in the back section where food is set up buffet style (two stations similar to the dining hall at NU) and one in the front at the counter where people order drinks and snacks. Since the fridges are in the back part, I went to that cash register. The woman snatched the drink out of my hand and put it on the other side of the cash register-out of my reach. She barked at me- from what I could gather I was only allowed to pay for food at that cash register and not drinks because technically that section wasn't open yet. I don't understand what the hell is the difference between me buying a soda and the girl in front of me buying a salad. I wasn't even allowed to bring the drink to the other register. I could've went to the counter and ordered a soda from there, but by that point the line was really long and I really didn't want it anymore. I was frustrated that there was some hidden rule that I didn't understand. So in the end, I had no soda and no change to buy the copy/scan card. I'll have to wait until tomorrow after I break my 5 when I buy a much needed loaf of bread...

Now on to the pluses!

The only good thing to come out of the library experience was that I was able to confront one of my fears- needing to ask for assistance in Spanish. I wanted to put a reserve on one of the books that was already checked out, but needed to enter my student number. I tried the number that is on my ID card, but it didn't work. I went to the information desk and explained the situation the best that I could. At first she thought I was talking about the username that I need to log on to the intranet, and then she thought I was talking about the id number I need to check out books. I feel like if this had happened when I first got here I would've just walked away- but I pushed myself and kept trying to be understood. I was very happy there was no line behind me. It was awkward, but I stood at the desk for a little while trying to collect my thoughts and come up with a way to say "request to put the book on hold." I ended up saying something that's the equivalent of "I want to ask for a book that I can not have" but she finally understood. Apparently there is a secret ID number that you need for such an action that is not given to you, even though it's your information! I copied down the number from her computer screen (all she had to do was pull up my record- a record I think I'm entitled to have access to thank you very much) and was able to request a hold and view my patron record- details such as what books I have checked out and when they are due. It might seem like nothing, but the fact that I didn't get upset or overcome with frustration is a big deal to me. I was grateful that she didn't attempt to correct my Spanish or come back at me with English. I need more situations like that to happen.

But the big plus of the day is that I finally learned interesting facts about Spain that I never would have learned in a class in the U.S.! Finally I can say that there has been a gain from the classes I'm taking. I knew eventually this day would come, but it was rough getting here. When I think that my classes are too intense or difficult, I just keep reminding myself that the practice with Spanish and the fact that the subject matter isn't something I can get in the U.S. makes it worth it. I really regret not taking classes about New Zealand while I was studying there. At that point in my academic career I needed to take classes that fulfilled major and gen ed requirements. But I don't need the classes here to count for anything related to my degree. It's so nice to not worry about whether a class will translate into a required course. To the best of my knowledge, all of my classes here will go back as electives because the Spanish subject matter just doesn't have equivalents in NU's course system. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn things about this country from professors who have lived here all of their lives. I feel like my classes are where I have the opportunity to experience some of the culture here in lieu of interacting with natives on a daily basis.

In my literature and film class we talked about rivalries between sports teams in the U.S. At first I had no idea how this related to anything, but when we started talking about how some rivalries in sports reflect rivalries between or within cities, it started to make a little more sense. I did my best to explain the rivalry between Boston University and Northeastern University. Initially it came up because I thought of the beanpot (college hockey tournament) and how intense the rivalry was between the two teams. But when I thought about it further I realized that the conflict goes so much deeper than that. You can see it when you go to games and see people holding signs that say U Mass Kenmore and U Mass Roxbury- which is the traded insult that BU and NU are "as bad as" state schools. Also, at the beanpot there were flyers on all of the seats in the NU section that showed the only question on the NU admissions application form as 2 + 2 = ? (I personally thought that was a childish low blow, but I'm biased.) The last example I can think of is how at one game BU fans started changing "Five year school" as an insult to NU, a reference to our co-op program which if you do the full three cycles you end up taking five years to graduate. NU fans retaliated with "we have jobs" which is a clear defense of what outsiders might see as a strange or even detrimental practice. BU fans replied "flipping burgers" which can be seen as complete ignorance or commentary that even though NU students sometimes complete co-ops they still have just as much trouble finding worthwhile employment after graduation- BU maintaining that graduating from their school looks better on a resume. The point is that BU and NU clash because we are in competition on several levels. NU has classically been the underdog even though we have improved tremendously and continue to experience new and better successes every year. Hating BU is almost seen as being of more school spirit than loving NU! It's crazy I know.

And this relates to Barcelona or Spain how? Well, the professor was clever in having us think of rivalries that we were familiar with and how without even thinking about it, they revealed attitudes of the fans about their communities. In Spain, there has always been a huge rivalry between Barca and Real Madrid, two soccer teams that represent Barcelona and Madrid respectively. To the outsider, it might seem that this rivalry is simply due to each team being of very good quality and thus in constant competition- but it goes deeper than that, much deeper. These teams are so old that their history is inexplicably intertwined with the history of the two cities. For example, under the dictator Franco, Madrid was the city of allegiance with the government. Madrid was the city of national pride and unity. Barcelona was the city of resistance. Madrid was the oppressor and Barcelona was the oppressed. Under the dictator, almost every form of expression of Catalan culture was banned- except for the Barca soccer team. The citizens of Barcelona for the most part only had their soccer team that they could claim as their own. Obviously things have changed and there are tons of other outlets for Catalan pride and even Catalan independence movements- but that tradition lives on. The Barca team is more than a sports team, it's the one constant that Catalunya has been able to look to as representing themselves independent of Spain. Doesn't that seem like such a better way to learn about Madrid and Barcelona than sit through a two hour history lecture? I hope that this class continues to enlighten me in such entertaining ways.

My other class today was my communications class- a sort of mixture between journalism and sociology (I think...). The lecture was a little dry, most of it was based on graphs showing data (i.e. no people behind the numbers) but I learned a lot that surprised me. Only 4% of Spanish people say that they go to the movies at least once a month. I know that the theatre can be expensive, but only 4%! Coincidentally I read an article today about how two theatres were going out of business in nearby Tarragona and now the closest movie theatre would be 13 miles away. Apparently that is significant, but the theatres are closing out of financial necessity- people just aren't going. I don't know too much about the statistics of movie goers in the U.S., but I know that the percentage that go to the theatre at least once a month must be a hell of a lot higher than 4%. Television is just as popular here as in the U.S., but the difference in attitude towards movie theatres intrigues me greatly. I'm going to ask my intercambio her opinion about this. Maybe she'll have something to say because she is from Tarragona.

However, more shockingly I learned that only 32% of Spanish people said that they have internet in their homes. Again, don't know the statistics for the U.S.- but it has to be higher than that. The professor explained that because there is only one company that controls the phone and internet capabilities the rates are very expensive. In addition, most people have modems because it is too difficult in many places to run the cables under the ridiculously old streets and into the homes. I can't imagine not having internet available on a day to day basis. It's awful, but that's how my life has progressed. Even in the U.S. when I have my cell phone to stay in contact with people, I still feel like I need to go online everyday. The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is check my email. What does the lack of reliance on the internet signify for Spanish culture? It really isn't a small difference when you start to think about how this technology has infiltrated our lives. I'm going to have to think about this more.

For now I have to study a little bit for the debate I have in my Spanish class tomorrow. It would be so easy if I could just speak in English! I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to practice and get more familiar with speaking Spanish with a purpose and not as a graded activity...

nikki

Religious experiences and hot chocolate mistakes

At this exact moment I am happy. The reason is quite simple: I am eating a banana. Yeah, I finally broke down and bought a big bunch of bananas (five) at the market yesterday. The other four aren't quite ripe yet, but I am determined to eat them all before they go bad. Oh man, this is so delicious. Potassium I have missed you so!

Yesterday I went to La Sagrada Familia. From wikipedia (the most trustworthy of sources obviously):

Sagrada Família, is a massive, privately-funded Roman Catholic church that has been under construction in Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain since 1882 and is not expected to be complete until at least 2026. Considered the master-work of renowned Catalan architect Antoni Gaudí (1852–1926), the project's vast scale and idiosyncratic design have made it one of Barcelona's (and Spain's) top tourist attractions for many years.

Therefore, I had to see it. The outside was beautiful, I have an entire album on facebook of photos (91 in all), but I was kind of annoyed that I spent 9 euros (yay for student discounts) to go inside. It really wasn't that impressive after seeing the cathedral in Sevilla and La Mezquita in Córdoba. When they say that it is under construction, they really mean that it is a work in progress. There were construction beams, bags of plaster, and splintered wood everywhere. I even saw the welding going on with amber sparks flying everywhere. I guess in a way, seeing the construction of a cathedral is a unique experience. However, I was expecting to be in awe of the structure- like I've been with every other architectural accomplishment I've seen thus far. Instead, I was bored- there was no overall effect. It was like seeing a bare bones outline of a novel. You intuitively know that someday there will be a magnificent product, but you don't know what it will look like or how long it will take to get there. Also, I have always been bothered when other people step in to finish the creative work of another after that original creator has died. People talk of the completion of La Sagrada Familia as the realization of Gaudí's vision- but it's not. The construction is made up of approximations from sketches and models that Gaudí and his cohorts left behind. I'm sure that's a great start, but in my mind it's like saying that a novel written by person A is really the work of person B that wrote the beginning of a few chapters with some instructions for possible character archs. Let this serve as notice that if I die while I'm in the middle of writing something no one had better step in and try to approximate an organic path to a possible ending- and then claim that the finished product is really mine. I know that the building must be finished, I just wish that people would stop using Gaudí's name just to bring legitimacy to the work. Who knew I was such an architecture snob? Who am I to pass judgment on any of this? It's not like I have a clue what really goes into designing and constructing a building of any size. In the end, I am frustrated with not being able to appreciate a work in progress. I've always been a results oriented type of person...

Yesterday I also went to what once was the Jewish neighborhood of Barcelona. I expected to see more remnants of the ancient city, but really all I found were plaques that stated what used to be there. I had difficult finding the synagogue- I'm about 90 percent sure that the building that was under construction (and closed completely- unlike La Sagrada Familia) was the synagogue. I wanted to see it, thought viewing the oldest synagogue in Europe and La Sagrada Familia all in one day would somehow make me a holier person (just kidding). I ended up wandering around a new section of the city for about 2 1/2 hours, taking some random pictures and familiarizing myself with the maze of dead end and twisty turvy streets.

CIEE sent us a list of things To Do in Barcelona, compiled from suggestions from National Geographic as well as personal suggestions from CIEE staff. One of the items on the list was to have a chocolate at a specific restaurant. The weather has cooled a bit here, only a high of 66 today, so I decided a hot chocolate would be delightful. (I know it's 20 - 25 degrees cooler in Boston and New York, but last weekend it was almost 90, so 65 feels cold.) I got to the restaurant and waited patiently in the line. The place was packed, apparently it is always so. Since I was only one person I got to skip ahead of a lot of the bigger parties. I sat down and ordered a small chocolate. When it came, it was the chocolate that they serve with churros con chocolate- which is really not edible by itself. It tastes burnt to me, but it's probably just because it's more bitter than the sweet chocolate we are used to in the U.S. When the waiter came around again I ordered some churros to be able to consume the chocolate. I was annoyed that there weren't any menus. I looked around the packed restaurant and did not see a single menu, so I figured it was pointless to ask for one. This was also the first place that I've felt rushed in here. Usually everyone takes their time to eat and drink- it's the norm for two or three people to each order a coffee at a cafe and then sit around for hours- but in this place people were eating and drinking and leaving rather quickly by comparison. I found the only place in Barcelona where people are considerate of others waiting in line! I finished my churros con chocolate being pretty disappointed. Obviously the quality was way better than the churros con chocolate that I had from the street vendor in Sevilla, but I still did not get the massive appeal of the treat. As I started to walk toward the front door I saw a piece of paper by the counter that had a list of different hot chocolates on it. I screamed internally while realizing that I could've ordered an actual hot chocolate- they even had a mint one! It made me think back to last Thursday when I got a hot chocolate from the automatic coffee machine on campus (which quite surprisingly produces amazing products). I had to select the xocolata amb llet (Catalan for chocolate with milk). Obviously I had just ordered chocolate, which was not really for drinking. I'll have to go back sometime soon, preferably with someone else, so I can try a drinking chocolate and forget that this little mishap ever happened. This is what occurs when you are an outsider in a local's restaurant...

Today I saw REC 2 in the movie theatre. It's the horror/zombie sequel to REC, which I saw before coming here and absolutely loved. I figured I could justify the trip by equating it to an educational experience- I'd have to watch an entire movie with audio in Spanish and without any subtitles. I definitely did not understand a lot of what was being said, but I did feel good about being able to follow the general plot line. I enjoyed the movie a lot because I love zombies and other crazy and scary creatures. I felt bad though because the person I brought with me did not have a great experience. She slept through a lot of the movie because the hand held camera point of view made her dizzy and such. I was also disappointed because I'd been wanting to see the movie for awhile and had a lot of difficulty convincing someone to go with me. There were plenty of times that I thought about going on my own, but I've been doing things on my own a lot lately and a movie is generally something that people do together. It sucks a bit that I couldn't have that "What did you think of the movie... which parts were awesome and which parts sucked?" conversation. At least I tried to be social.

Besides my intercambio on Friday and the movie today, I didn't spend time with anyone else. I didn't set out for it to be that way, it just sort of happened. I can blame my own inaction I guess. It's always been hard for me to find a way to know about things that are going on. I need to realize that it is my job to stay informed and I can't expect people to give me a call whenever they decide what they are doing.

My intercambio on Friday was amazing though. I had to conduct this interview with a native Spanish speaker for my Spanish class, asking questions about idiomatic expressions, hand gestures and significant dates in Spanish and Catalonian culture. Idiomatic expressions are always difficult because they don't translate at all. I had a lot of difficulty explaining how "I'm broke" means "I don't have any money." There really isn't any reasoning behind it, you just sort of have to remember the phrase. To the best of my knowledge, everyone in the U.S. that has English as their first language (at least) knows that expression- but if you didn't grow up with it, it's difficult to suddenly add it to your language knowledge because there is no direct equivalent in your native language. My favorite of the Spanish idioms that she taught me was "como un tren" which literally means "like a train." It is used to talk about someone who, as some in America would say in slang terms, had a slammin' body. (I was proud of myself for understanding her translation of the expression as está bueno- as the different between bien/bueno combined with ser/estar has been one of the more difficult concepts for me to grasp. Estar + bueno = good looking) I don't feel comfortable working that expression into my everyday conversation in Spanish, but it's cool to have that knowledge. I have to remember to email her and set up another time to meet. I know I should be doing intercambio more than just two hours per week with one person, but after the other girl stood me up I haven't put any effort into finding anyone else.

I'm stuck in the same old balancing act, trying to give equal attention to improving my Spanish, exploring Barcelona, being social, traveling outside of Barcelona, doing schoolwork, keeping in touch with people, and doing some creative writing. That last one has been suffering a lot, which I really didn't expect. I thought that being in a new environment would kick my imagination into high gear. So far, only my non-fiction and contemplative writing has come to fruition. There is still time. I can and must feel like a writer again because tattoo removal is painful and wicked expensive.

nikki

Alicante- sol y montaña rusas... y la pobreza

Alicante was beautiful. I climbed to the top of a castle and relaxed on the magnificent shore. On Saturday I got into the city around 2pm and just wandered around for several hours. I found a brochure for the hop on/hop off tourist bus and followed the route of the bus by myself, a wonderful way to save 10 euros in my opinion. I really enjoyed taking the time to examine everything that I saw. I didn't have an agenda, I could do whatever I wanted and not feel guilty about missing something. That's a situation that is difficult for me to get used to. An Australian girl was my roommate that first night. We went out to dinner for some paella, which sucked by the way, and she told me all about her travels thus far. She had broken her foot in Granada and was staying there for awhile before hitchhiking to Portugal with a guy she had fallen in love with. She was just in Alicante for a day and a half, a trip she booked before she broke her foot. She never went to the doctor for it, so after climbing to the top of the castle with me she was in a lot of pain. I was super worried for her, but she just kept telling me that she'd be fine. I was both in awe and appalled. Could I put up with that much pain just to save money and keep traveling?

While we were eating dinner out in the perfectly crisp but comfortable open air, a woman approached out table and put down a photocopied note. Australian girl doesn't know any Spanish, so I translated it for her. The note said that the woman was poor, had nowhere to sleep, no family and no way to find a job. After placing notes on the tables on either side of ours, she went and stood against the wall a few feet away, clutching her empty soda cup. Australian girl had some change that she wanted to get rid of (it adds up and gets heavy quickly) so she picked up her purse to dig some out. The woman rushed to the table and held her cup like two inches away from the girl's face. She didn't seem excited, but rather satisfied. She quickly shoved the cup in my face and I just shook my head. After giving a homeless person five bucks on my second or third day in Boston and watching him immediately go buy alcohol with it, I vowed to never give money to a beggar again. It's complicated. I know some people really could use the money, but I don't feel like I should start giving my money away- if I gave to all of them I would have none. I don't feel obligated to give in that circumstance.

It's hard sometimes, especially when I was in Córdoba and there was a mother with two small children begging for change. Her daughters looked very weak and hungry. I wanted to help, but I couldn't. No one in the large tour group I was with gave her any money. One guy from my program considered giving the family his enormous bottle of water, but decided not to because he thought he was getting sick and didn't want to infect the family's already compromised immune systems. The poor people here are less aggressive than the ones I've encountered on Boston's streets. For the most part, they don't verbally ask for your money. If you aren't paying attention to where you are walking, you could easily trip over someone kneeling on the ground against the corner of a building with their head down and their hand literally extended outward. Sometimes they have signs, I'm used to that. But sometimes they have pictures of their families and that's hard to see. I guess the toughest situation was in Alicante when I saw a young man cradling a dying puppy in his arms. The dog was definitely sick. The first time I saw him I thought maybe he was sleeping, but when I came across them again a few hours later I knew something was really wrong. It angered me that someone who doesn't have enough money to provide for themselves would take on the care of an animal. What does that say to me that I was more affected by a starving dog than two destitute little girls? I hate to say it, but I have more respect for the beggars here because they are passive. It's like they recognize that they shouldn't be asking for money, but have to try. They don't want to intimidate, they want to receive money from people who are truly sympathetic. At least that's how it appears to me...

But back to the woman at dinner in Alicante... I made a stupid move and put her note in my purse. I figured she had a ton of them and I thought it would be interesting to keep it as a memento, a physical reminder of the thought provoking encounter. When she saw me take the note she rushed up to me very quickly and I thought she was going to hit me or something. It frustrated me that my initial reaction was fear. But she just pointed and shook her stack of notes in the air. I asked her in Spanish if she wanted the note back, and her face softened a little realizing that I could speak some of her language and was addressing her as a person. I gave her back the note, I really had no problem doing so. But then the restaurant owner came running out and yelled at the woman to leave. They got into a heated argument about the unemployment crisis in Spain. At the moment, 18% of the population is unemployed. The woman seemed genuine in her anguish and struggle to find a job, but the restaurant manager just called her a bunch of names and said she wasn't trying hard enough. The woman also said that begging shouldn't be a big deal because the foreigners have plenty of money to give. It made sense that she would have this perception. I can't imagine what it feels like to not have anything and yet see so many tourists everywhere spending money like crazy on frivolous things. At that moment I was happy that I knew some Spanish and could understand what was being said. It gave me a unique insight into the reality of poverty in this country. It's easy to miss.

I spent all day Sunday at the amusement park Terra Mítica. I was pleasantly surprised to find a deal in which round trip transportation (train and bus) and entrance to the park was only 35 euros. (On the website it had said that the entrance fee itself was 60 euros!) I enjoyed myself, but I didn't realize how lonely it would be to not have someone to scream with on the rides. At times, there were long lines and it was hard not to keep thinking about how much better it would have been if I'd have had someone to talk to. I'm happy that I went, but I've realized that if I'm going to go to Port Aventura, I need to find a companion. I want to have a good time and not fight feelings of sadness when I should be screaming and laughing like a four year old. I don't have any pictures from the park because I was too nervous about losing, breaking or getting my camera stolen. The park itself was modest compared to some of the parks I've been to in the U.S. but it makes me happy to be able to say that I've ridden roller coasters in a foreign country. I like that I found something unique to do that is a real passion of mine. I'm definitely trying to prevent catching ABC syndrome (only visiting another boring cathedral, another boring cemetery... etc.).

Monday was a federal holiday so a lot of things were closed in the city. I got to go to the Museum of Fine Arts which made me happy. I was able to test some of my Spanish reading comprehension with all of the biographies of painters and insightful descriptions of the paintings. I'm not a huge art buff, but I really enjoyed seeing work from exclusively Spanish artists. I continue to be amazed at how long things from the past can be preserved. The U.S. is such a young country compared to Europe. Being in the presence of something that's 500 years old is just hard to comprehend! I also went to the cultural festival for a little while. There were folk dancing and music performances by groups from all parts of the Spanish speaking world. I saw groups from Columbia, Peru and of course Spain perform. There were many other acts, but after an hour or so in direct sunlight I had to leave. Despite sleeping for a full eight hours without any roommates (four person room all to myself for night #2) I was still absolutely drained after the sun exposure. The weather in Alicante was a bit overwhelming, getting up to 85 degrees during the day with a minimal breeze. The nights were a bit more comfortable, but my sense of time is disrupted by all of this sun. I can't believe it's October because I'm still wearing shorts everyday. Soon the temperature will drop... it has to right?

Other than that museum, I really just walked around the city and spent time reading and writing on the shore. I wasn't on the beach because I have a strong hatred for sand, but there were some comfortable benches on the docks. It was hard for me to just relax. I found myself being anxious, wanting it to finally be time for me to leave for the airport. I didn't want to return to Barcelona, I just wanted to be doing something. In retrospect, I can see that it was good for me to have that time to just lounge around. I was in a breathtakingly beautiful city that I probably will never visit again in my lifetime. It doesn't matter that I don't have a list of things that I accomplished in Alicante. That's not the point of vacations! It's about time that I learn that.

One thing I loved about Alicante was that I heard Spanish everywhere. They do speak Catalan in Alicante, but it is definitely a second language. Some signs are in both languages, but everything is in Spanish. That's how I thought it would be in Barcelona. It was nice to see an example of a different balance between the culture of Catalonia and the culture of Spain in general. I felt more confident in my Spanish abilities outside of Barcelona. I had a few short conversations with people and was able to answer questions and ask for directions without completely freaking out. People did respond to me in English at times, but at least I put the effort out there to speak in Spanish. I can't change the fact that the way I speak Spanish immediately outs me as a foreigner. All I can do is keep practicing the language and making it a bigger part of my life. I keep telling myself that I have to cash in the iTunes gift card I got almost a year ago but haven't touched in order to buy some Spanish songs. I can put them on my iPod and practice my listening while I roam the city! ¡Que guay!

I'm trying to figure out what I can do after I have class to make use of the fact that my mind is in hazy Spanish mode. On Mondays and Wednesdays I have class for four hours straight, so after listening to and speaking in Spanish for that long your brain starts to swirl around with Spanish phrases and half thoughts. Maybe I should write down these thoughts and try to flesh them out so I can attempt to bring up these points in the next class?

In my literature and film class we had to write a short essay about what we thought about Barcelona before we got here and what were our first impressions of the city after arriving. I wrote about many things, but went into detail about my frustrating with Catalan. We spent the majority of class talking about the issues people brought up in their papers and the professor mentioned me by name and explained what I had written. He then asked me to defend myself because no one in the class agreed that Catalan is often an obstacle when living in Barcelona. His point about needing to be more confident and strong in asking people to switch to Spanish is well taken. However, when I brought up the fact that many pages of the university's web site are only available in Catalan, he said that I should find someone to speak with face to face about what information I am looking for. This really angered me. I don't feel like I should have to do that just to get a sense of what is going on in the university. I think news about the university should be accessible to everyone. How can I feel welcomed into the campus community when my lack of knowledge of Catalan keeps me out of the communication loop? After class, the professor tried to be nice and offered to help me if I have something I want to know that is only available in Catalan in the university's literature. I appreciate his offer, but it made me upset that I should need the professor to hold my hand in order for me to even figure out if there is something I would be interested in that is going on within the university. I wanted him to admit that it wasn't fair for a campus that prides itself on being international to not translate everything into the official language of the country in which it is located. When no one would agree with me on that point, I started to lose it. Thankfully it was the end of class and I had another one to go to right away. I had started to cry a little bit out of frustration, but was able to keep it in check for the most part. I guess I need to do some more work in order to find the good in the Catalan like it seems everyone else has...

nikki

cocinar... ¡con sabor y risas!

Last night was the Cook and Taste event with my group. Eight of us participated in cooking the four course meal. I made my lack of cooking skills and knowledge abundantly clear from the beginning, so I was given the task of peeling and cutting the tomatoes for the gazpacho. I now know how to get the skins off easily and quickly! :) The entire experience was just a lot of fun. Not for a second did I think about schoolwork or any other things that I "should" have been doing. It was so refreshing to live completely in the moment and enjoy what was happening with no regrets or guilt.

After over three hours of preparing and cooking it was finally time to eat. We had the gazpacho (cold tomato soup with delicious add ons) first in little shot glasses. I thought I would hate it, but the flavors mixed together were delicious. We also had tortilla de patatas which is really popular here. It's your basic egg and potatoes, but it was amazing on top of some crunchy bread drenched in olive oil. Everything here is cooked with olive oil instead of butter. I think it tastes better! For the main course we had a seafood paella. There were crawfish, clams, muscles and squid mixed into the signature rice and spices. Everything tasted so good together that I didn't even realize I had eaten the clams and muscles until they had disappeared from my plate. I've never consciously consumed either before, but I'm so glad that I tried them. I had to stop myself from taking seconds because dessert was crema catalana. Creme brulee (sorry I haven't mastered how to type french accent marks yet) is considered a version of crema catalana, but I couldn't tell much of a difference-- they are both fantastic. The best part was probably watching two of the people in my group torch the dessert to melt the sugar on top. I enjoyed seeing how the dessert is made. It's always fascinated me how the soft and creamy could be covered by the hard and sweet.

I've tried to be adventurous when it comes to food here. The other day I tried baby octopus, they were complete miniature octopus bodies. Somehow it is easier to eat something when it no longer resembles the animal that it came from. Psychologically it was very difficult to put the baby octopus in my mouth because even though it was no longer alive, I couldn't get the image of it moving and swimming out of my head. I thought it would be disgusting, but it really just picked up the flavors of the olive oil and garlic sauce it was sitting in on the plate. I've found it is easiest when I don't know what I'm eating and only find out afterwards. I took this approach in Sevilla while ordering tapas off of a rather complicated menu. My Spanish food vocabulary is pretty extensive, but the names of the dishes really didn't reveal too much about their ingredients. My friend and I just picked three that sounded interesting. I liked them all! It ended up that they were unfamiliar variations of pork, lamb and fish-- so nothing too crazy, but I still felt adventurous. I am definitely up for trying some more things that normally in the U.S. I shy away from. Somehow being in a foreign country makes you feel like you need to take more risks and challenge your beliefs. There is no reason why I've never eaten baby octopus, therefore I should do it!

I'm going to Alicante for the weekend, traveling solo. I'm so excited to go to Terra Mítica. It has been far too long since I've been on a roller coaster. :) Other than that, I don't have any concrete plans. I want to just explore the city and if I happen to find a museum or some sort of activity I will do it, but I don't feel like I need an itinerary. Traveling isn't about seeing all that I can, it's about seeing and doing what makes me happy. It has always been difficult for me to determine what makes me happy, what I want to do completely and only for myself, but I think this experience will help to change that. Some people here don't understand why I'm traveling alone, but I honestly feel like it is the best way to go to make sure that you get to do what you want to do. I want to make the memories that mean something to me. When I'm with a group I usually let other people decide what we're doing because I hate arguing, but when I'm alone I have to make the decisions and I feel stronger.

nikki

Sevilla y Córdoba... y muchas cosas más, como siempre

My trip to Sevilla (Seville in English) and Córdoba was amazing over this past weekend. The trip was a much needed break from the chaos of Barcelona. Everything was just so beautiful and calm. It was the first time here that I really felt like I was on vacation in some exotic locale. Girona was nice, but Sevilla was a city that the whole time I was there I knew I would never forget it. The trip was paid for by CIEE so I didn't have to worry about making arrangements for flights or hotels and we got some money for meals. This made things so much better, it was impossible to feel stressed about anything other than not having enough time to really explore.

My first thought upon arriving in Sevilla was that I should've chosen to study there for the semester. It felt so much more like an authentic Spanish locale. NO CATALAN WHATSOEVER OH MY GOSH I LOVED IT! Also, no one spoke English either, so I really got a chance to use some of my Spanish. I surmised that if I was there for an extended period of time I would have no choice but to become more comfortable with the language because I would never be able to do anything without opening my mouth. In Barcelona I encounter the problem of people speaking back to me in English. But in Sevilla this wouldn't really happen as often, and I think I'd benefit from a slower paced environment. Maybe people there would be more patient with me when I try to speak. It was just hard not to become so hostile about Barcelona when I was in a place that totally matched the image of Spain that I've had in my head since I was little. Sure, there are places in Barcelona that sort of have that feel but in Sevilla the entire city has such things in common. It is very small, but I am confident that I would find things and places to entertain me. Sevilla has its own rich history and culture. I think that after a semester there I could really feel like I knew the place, whereas in Barcelona I think it would take more than a lifetime to really understand the city as a whole. There is just too much going on over too large of a surface area. It just makes things overwhelming.

On the flip side, being away from Barcelona has motivated me to make a list of all of the things that I want to do in and around the city. I can't do it all, but it makes sense to decide what are my desires and then go about fulfilling them. Top on the list is going to Port Aventura, the amusement park. They are having special Halloween events going on until the middle of November. I'm so excited I want to go next weekend (this weekend I'll be in Alicante!) but I also want to see if I can find someone else to go with me. Roller coasters are so much more fun if you have someone to scream with. Most of the people I talked to didn't want to spend the money, but there has to be someone with a little adventure in their heart.

I also went on Ticketmaster to see if there are any events going on in Barcelona that I should be aware of. There is an international snowboarding competition in the middle of November that looked really cool to watch. It's taking place on a freakin mountain, it's pretty much the only time that there is public transportation to this locale. I'm not a sports fan by any means, but the tickets are cheap and I think it would be a great way to spend a weekend. I want to find more cool things like that to do in the city. Events like that just don't happen in Sevilla. I have to remind myself of the advantages of living in a city, that there is really just so much more to see and do, that I'm lucky to be here and have all of these opportunities. Instead of feeling overwhelmed I should be excited about all of the things I'm going to do. I just have to keep choosing one thing at a time and going forward in my plans.

But of course my excitement about further traveling outside of Barcelona has been stimulated by this past weekend's excursion. I booked tickets and a hostel for Thanksgiving weekend to go to Bruges in Belgium. The flight was wicked cheap (100 euros round trip) and both of my well traveled friends (okay the only two) recommended the city. I am really excited to go somewhere random and take advantage of having the money and the time to go on a vacation. I don't have any concrete plans for what to do when I'm there, and that's really absolutely fine by me. That's the attitude I'm going to bring to my month of traveling after the program ends. From the middle of December to the middle of January I will be able to do whatever I want in Europe. I'm going to Madrid, Paris and London-- most likely in that order. That's all I really need to know for right now. Soon I will think about dates, but I am not going to go crazy and try to plan everything. I need to work on extinguishing this fear that I'm going to miss out on something. It's not possible to miss out on something. There are no negatives in this, only positives when something is accomplished.

Speaking of a big positive, today I had my first meeting with an intercambio (language exchange) partner that I contacted over the internet (this site is wonderful). She is a 23 year old originally from Tarragona who is currently studying French and Chinese. I think we hit it off quite well, the time passed so quickly that she was late going to her class. I did a great job holding my own in speaking Spanish. I need to do this more often. I am meeting with another girl on Friday. I'm sure that will go well. I have about 30 responses from interested partners just sitting in my inbox. I guess I'll have to figure out if I should stick with the same partners or try a bunch of different ones. Is my goal to make friends or to expose myself to different types of people? Maybe speaking to many people will help me process a variety of accents?

One day at a time. One day at a time. One day at a time. * breathe * :)

Tomorrow night is the Cook and Taste class through CIEE. Not sure what we're doing exactly, but from pics on facebook of other groups I can surmise that we will be attempting to cook some traditional Spanish food. I already feel sorry for whoever has to eat what I make! I'm excited to do something so out of character for me and of course I love when someone else pays for my entertainment and food. On Friday I have my Spanish grammar class until 12 and then the intercambio at 12:30. After that I am free until class at 10:30 Tuesday morning. Monday, Columbus Day to all of you in the U.S., is a holiday here as well. It's called the Fiesta Nacional de España or Día de la Hispanidad. Roughly translated, it means that this is the day Spain uses as its day of national pride. (Although it is important to note that in Catalonia this date is much, much, much less important that September 11th, which if you remember from an earlier post is the day of pride for Catalonia only.) Because Columbus was sailing for Spain when he "discovered America" (a strange phrase when you consider that the landmass already existed and he had no idea where he actually was) Spain marks this date as a symbol of Spain at its greatest historical moment of power. There really isn't any celebration in the streets or anything, it's just a nice opportunity to relax :) I'm using the day off to travel this weekend.

Yup, leaving for Alicante early Saturday morning and getting back late Monday night. I hope I have a great time and can figure out a way to get to Terra Mitica, the amusement park. My intercambio partner said that she likes the park a lot and would definitely recommend it. I might have to be a little inventive when it comes to transportation (a few buses, a train and a taxi) but if it's my goal to get there I will do it. There are also some museums and pretty things to look at in Alicante, so I am definitely not worried about being bored. Although it wouldn't be such a bad thing to sit somewhere with my journal and let my mind float away.

nikki

and the lesson is...?

The other day after my communications class I went up to the professor to ask his opinion about the recent published picture of Spain's President Zapatero's two teenaged daughters. His family had posed with Barack Obama and family while visiting the U.S. From the moment Zapatero took office in 2004 the press was banned from taking any photos of the children. In fact, it is Spanish law that children under the age of 18 cannot be interviewed or photographed in the press.

Immediately after the pictures were taken, the U.S. government uploaded them to the internet and they were subsequently available for mass reproduction by all of the press in the world. There was quite the scandal because both girls wore all black and very dark makeup and were thus deemed "goth" and somehow an embarrassment to the President in the eyes of Americans because we highly value the appearance of political figures. That's not true in Spain. No one cares about their personal lives, if they have an affair for example- there is little fanfare or real interest in the details. In most cases, the public has never seen the politician's wife. Politicians aren't celebrities, all that matters is their policies- what they are or are not doing for Spain's citizens. People think that publishing the photos was disrespectful on many levels, but especially because the girls are at "a difficult time" in their lives and deserve to be kept out of the public eye, able to walk around freely without being recognized and potentially harassed when their father's actions aren't well received.

Many newspapers here in Spain, both in print and online, refused to publish the photos and the ones that did blurred out the girls' faces. In contrast, the pictures were published unaltered by all news sources in the U.S. as soon as they became available.

(If you're really curious, you can find the pic here.)

I found all of this pretty interesting. I don't fault the U.S. for publishing the photos because I think Zapatero was stupid to let the picture be taken when it is that important to him to keep his daughter's images private. How could you now know that the photographs would be distributed?

Even though I don't consider myself religious, I inherently subscribe to the idea that politicians should be "good" people, held to a higher standard than the average person. One way that we judge people is how their family appears, what they are doing reflects the ideals of the politician. However sometimes the coverage of the family can be outrageous. CNN reported on what was being served for lunch at the private school that Obama's daughter's attend during the election-- why the hell is that news worthy? Why are we obsessed with our politician's personal lives? Doesn't it make it harder for the person to be judged on their policies and actions?

I thought that the professor would be happy to share his opinion with me because it was a hot topic and he was teaching us about Spanish press. But it seemed like he was offended that I was addressing him as an equal, while I thought I was showing my respect for him by treating him as an authority on the subject. This probably reflects the difference here in the expected relationship between professors and students. I was told that it is more formal, but the professors of my classes (that are specifically designed for non-native speakers) have definitely given the impression that they wanted to break down that wall. I guess I need more time to figure out what is and isn't appropriate. It is just difficult for me to ask questions and have a dialogue in front of the entire class. I have this problem even in English because I just get so shy and think the other kids are judging me for having doubts or an uninformed opinion. But now that I have to speak in Spanish it is almost impossible to share my thoughts like I'm used to doing in the U.S. I've always been the student that wants to make sure she is known to the professor, who makes an impression because of her enthusiasm and honest expressed interest in engaging with the material.

I think that the language barrier is making me appear like I don't have opinions because when I try to talk in class I can't develop my arguments. My mind is thinking tons and tons of interesting points so quickly and I can't translate most of it. It's difficult to prepare what I want to say and jump into the conversation while my point is still relevant. I was very frustrated in my literature and film class this morning because I had views I wanted to express but I just couldn't keep up with the conversation. It took so much effort to listen to everyone and follow what was going on that I kept raising my hand to speak after the professor was really looking for more opinions. I don't know how to shorten the delay between when I have a thought and when it is ready to be shared with the class, that is it has been translated in spite of my full of wholes vocabulary and greatly impaired sense of grammar. I just need more practice and confidence. I know by the end of the semester I will be participating and contributing to discussions. I might not be able to do so as much as I do in English, but I know that I will get better and learn from this experience.

I just wish that the other students in the class would speak Spanish with me when we are doing group work. I don't understand why they don't want to practice the language! In class today we had to form groups of three students each for a project. I approached two girls and asked in Spanish if they needed another person. They just stared at me until I repeated it in English and then they went into all English mode. At least that wasn't as annoying as the two guys in the back of the classroom that talk to each other in English the entire two hours, even when most of us are straining to listen to the lecture. I need to be able to concentrate on what is being said because if I miss a word or two it is very difficult to follow what is going on. I have my first intercambio date on Wednesday with a native Spanish speaker that will help me with my Spanish in exchange for my help with her English. I hope it goes well and we can set up something weekly. It will be so nice to be with someone that is patient with me so I can complete my thoughts in Spanish and participate in a dialogue instead of having to either endure silence, be screamed at in broken English or be subjected to a Spanish monologue.

nikki