In Spring 2007 I studied in Auckland, New Zealand for a semester. I don't remember being this worried for that trip! Part of this is due to the language barrier I will face in Spain, but overall I am being way more cautious. One of my main concerns is being the victim of theft or losing things that are irreplaceable. I am hoping that my diligence in preparation will be rewarded at some point.
I spent a little over an hour in info commons yesterday scanning all of my important documents and cards (IDs, credit cards, insurance cards etc.) and printing out two sets of copies. I would've printed more but figured it was sufficient to have scans in my email so they can be printed out if need be at a later date.
Little by little I am checking items off of my list of things I need to do before I leave. Many unforeseen problems have arisen, but luckily I have given myself enough time to resolve them. At this point, I must say that the advice given in the handbook provided by CIEE really helped me to figure out what I should do before my departure. For instance, it really didn't occur to me that I should visit the dentist before I leave. I've never worried too much about my dental health. But I found a place that had a new patient special and took the time to go in for an exam and cleaning. Turns out that I have two cavities and some teeth that are about to fracture if not for some intervention. Could you imagine how awful it would've been to have such a disaster happen in Spain? Yes, it hurt paying the hundreds of dollars to fix the problems, but I am so grateful that I was able to take care of this before leaving the U.S.
What is difficult are the bevy of emotions that are being drudged up by this process. I am leaving behind people that I have become very close to and am used to seeing on a daily basis. I'm scared of what might happen without that support system. One of my main goals for this experience is to become more independent, but the process is not going to be easy. I'm not sure if there is a painless way to say goodbye. It is extra difficult because I am graduating upon my return to Boston and have no job or housing to return to. I have no future plans. In a way that is exciting as I am free to stay in Europe for a while until the money runs out. But it is also terrifying to know that when I come back I won't be returning to the life I left.
However, I am optimistic that what I will learn in Spain will help me in my job search and enrich the quality of my life in general. I am desperate to feel comfortable with the Spanish language and be confident in my skills. With hard work and determination I think I can exceed my expectations for personal growth.
I am nervous about my entire life being turned upside down, having everything be unfamiliar and difficult to process, but I am also cultivating this ball of excitement inside of me. I looked up the hotel that I am staying at during orientation and it is gorgeous inside and out. Knowing that there will be some peace once I arrive is very comforting.
I am looking forward to the honeymoon stage in which I am in awe of my newfound surroundings. Yet I am trying to accept the "everything sucks get me out of here" stage of Culture Shock that will follow. That is a stage I am familiar with from my semester in New Zealand. This time I think I will have a better understanding of the reasons behind my feelings and won't be too ashamed to ask for help if I need it. I will be able to soldier on until I feel comfortable in Barcelona as it becomes more familiar and inviting.
For right now I need to get back to packing and making random arrangements. I am also trying to have some fun! I am happy that I have had about a month before leaving without work or classes taking up my time. I've been able to focus on important tasks and take the time to enjoy what I love so much about Boston. At least I know that this city will still be here when I get back, waiting for me to establish a truly adult life.
nikki
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